Leicester City Football Club

Labelled for Young Carers, a voluntary group offering peer support to young carers, was established early in 2012 and although they have no funding, have already had a significant positive impact on the lives of young carers, we hope that in the next year as our name and influence grows to be able to help even more young carers.

With that in mind we are both thrilled and honoured to have been adopted by the Leicester City Football Club as one of their supported causes for 2013. The benefits to the group from this status are incalculable, the exposure and support from such an iconic name in the county will ensure that our name and activities are made known to countless people, and lead to a massive boost in our membership.

We wish to publicly thank the club for honouring us in this way, and thank Tom Rowell and the team for inviting a large group of us to watch the recent home game against Barnsley, and thank them for their courtesy, support and help on the day.

We aim to help as many carers as we can over the next year and will repay Leicester City Football Clubs faith in us and make them as proud to support us as we are to be supported by them.

Suicide Awareness Prevention Training Event

On Friday 26^th October, the Young Carer support group, Labelled, put on it’s first major event. It was a Suicide Awareness Prevention Training Event. We would like to thank Carers Action for supporting the venture, Suicide Awareness for presenting and facilitating it and Leicester Police for generously providing both the venue and the refreshments for the day.

Suicide is a very serious and emotive subject, and on the face of it there is not much space for levity or optimism, but this event is far from downbeat .

We were thrilled to be able to welcome contingents from the Samaritans, Leicestershire Police and the Mental Health Service as well as representatives of the third sector support services, service users and carers.

The event fell into two parts, separated by lunch and a chance to network and meet like-minded individuals involved in either providing or receiving support for mental illnesses.

The first session concentrated mainly on the types of groups and individuals whose lives and circumstances make them high risk for suicide, as well as a discussion on the pressures, which combine to make them high risk. The second half looked at coping strategies to help to minimise the risk to individuals and groups as well as techniques to help them through the crisis. This ended with an in depth analysis of a number of case studies.

The day ended with a presentation by Leicestershire Police on the emotive and destructive subject of hate crime, stressing that anyone who is suffering from abuse or harassment to any level is a victim of a hate incident, and they should report it to the Police. The Police themselves will then deal with the complaint and assess whether it is a hate crime or hate incident, whatever their conclusion they will treat it with equal seriousness.

The key message from the day is that everyone involved in providing support for mental illness, and for individuals in crisis, is that all of the service providers are keen to work together for the best interests of the individual and their families. For those of us involved in these conditions, this is tremendously encouraging. For those who have been personally affected by Suicide, in whatever way, it was really heartening to see the compassion and support shown by the members of the Police force, as well as members of the other service providers.

The Young Carers from Labelled worked tirelessly in the lead up to the event making a range of attractive “thoughfulness” gifts which were sold on the day from the Labelled stand, and raised, along with the very generous donations of the audience an incredible £147 for the group.

The day ended with a number of people releasing Samaritans balloons into increasing cloudy sky, in memory of those who had been lost by their own hands.

Everyone present found the day both memorable and uplifting, not only empowering us to know we can make a difference to people in crisis, but also to see the tremendous support and empathy from all of the professional services present.

Once again, Labelled would like to thank everyone who took the time to come to the event, and especially to the groups who support the promotion of the event, Leicestershire Police, Suicide Awareness and Carers’ Action

Labelled Progress

About a year ago, four young people came together and learned that they had something in common… that they are all carers for older family members, and received absolutely no support or engagement from the service providers.

So, rather than sit back and mumble about being hard done by, they talked about setting up a support organisation, and a few months later Labelled for Young Carers was born.

Still a relative newcomer to the third sector support scene, the group has blossomed under the directorship of these four young people. They are now supported in the efforts by a uniquely experienced and enthusiastic management committee, comprising of a balance of younger carers and older carers with experience of working in the sector, and some of the contacts necessary to help to open the doors and make a real difference.

There is a weekly drop in session, held at the Watershed every Saturday from 12pm until 2pm which gives young carers a chance to get some much needed respite from their caring duties, as well as some fun and other outings or activities are often arranged on evenings. The management meets regularly to discuss openings and developments as well as recapping on the progress made.

Labelled continues to seek new and exciting ways to support young carers, and has now a track record of events and activities which both empower the young carers and give them something to look forward to.

The biggest event is scheduled for October 26^th, when they are hosting a Suicide Awareness Day, supported by another Carer Group, Carers Action. This event is being facilitated by the Suicide Awareness Training Partnership, and we are indebted to the local Police for generously donating the venue and providing the refreshments free of charge. This promises to be a major event bringing together many representatives of the third sector support groups.

During the time Labelled has been delivering the drop-ins, we have been able to help many young carers, and also engage when required with their parents, normally in a separate area so the young carers are able to talk openly about their issues.

The Saturday drop ins also give them a chance to hone their roller skating, basket ball, football and pool skills in the safety of the gym, supervised by responsible adults.

We are indebted to Darren Yates of Dragon’s Lair for donating so much time to Labelled to run a very popular and well received self defence course. This showed the youngsters how to deal with aggressive behaviour by people they know and strangers, as well as learning some valuable coping strategies.

The group have already done two films, one wholly devised and recorded by the young carers themselves, titled “You are that Person” selling the job of a carer as a career, and another film professionally produced and recorded to be used in projects in school aimed at identifying and supporting young carers  called “Now you Know”

As a result of a moving interview with a group of young carers on BBC Radio Leicester, they passed the transcript to the BBC where one of their producers was so impressed he is currently making a documentary about Labelled which is due to go out on BBC TV in the lead up to Christmas.

In order to further develop their impact, Labelled is working in associating with both Carers’ Action and the Samaritans, with whom they are developing a referral scheme, to give carers and service users an extra layer of support and security.

Labelled has also identified a number of shortcomings in the delivery of service, and is now working very closely, supported by Carers Action, with the Leicestershire Partnership NHS Trust, to hone their training to recognise the needs of carers.

Labelled has also put together a unique “carers eye view” training package called “Resentsitize” to contribute significantly towards training professionals of the many obstacles and trials that a carer faces. This project has been outlined already to the LPT Trust management, the county council, city council and the local police force and was very warmly received by everyone involved. Labelled aims to include professionals from all different professions together to receive this training including teachers, GP’s, Fire-fighters, Ambulance drivers, and Receptionists.

Labelled has also been invited to work with the LPT in setting up an exciting new project, establishing a Recovery College in Leicestershire, to give service users a more thorough recovery programme than has ever been available before.

It has been an exciting time to be working with such a dedicated and determined group of people, Labelled has already developed excellent relationships with the LPT, local police, CAMHs, the Leicester city and county councils and is having a real impact in the carer support field.

With the enthusiasm and commitment shown by the group so far, it is clear that Labelled will continue to develop and continue to launch innovative and positive initiatives to improve the well-being of Carers.

The young carers are inspirational to everyone they meet and are a pleasure to know.

Special thanks to Sherry for continued support on these ramblings, and the additional material in this post x

A-Star Pupils Dilemma

I maybe still at school, but I am a very self composed, well presented friendly A star pupil… well, I must be because everybody who knows me, everyone who talks about me, tells me so…. Teachers, friends, everyone, and they must be right mustn’t they. At least those who know me well, but not too well, say that.

Sometimes I believe it myself, but it’s not often, most of the time I am in turmoil, stressed, head swirling madly with the eternal frustrations, resentments and pain vying for precedence. So I wonder why people have such a false impression of me?

There are many reasons I think, why I give an impression so different to the reality, the main one is that I am simply frightened about showing people how much I am suffering, because I am simply too stretched by my responsibilities to consider having a break, taking time away, even being given sympathy… I simply hide it by taking it to the other extent, by spending even longer on getting ready, over my clothes, my make-up, my hair… I give more time than most to my schoolwork because I think if I maintain the A grades I am capable of I will not attract the sort of attention some of my friends get. If I prepare a calm a relaxed demeanour, people will not realise I am breaking up inside whenever they see me.

I have friends who face the same turmoil as me, they struggle to cope with their homework, they don’t find the time to make the most of themselves, and are too tired to keep up the pretence of being in control. Perhaps I am the lucky one really, it’s an advantage of suffering from insomnia that I do have more time to do stuff, when everyone else is asleep.

So, I use my insomnia positively, I do the things they don’t have the time or strength to do, it also stops me being bullied the way they are… however stressed and in despair I am, at least I don’t have that to deal with as well.

Like many people who face the same pressures as me, I carry both some guilt and colossal resentment with me, they are negative emotions and simply add to the stress and turmoil that is such a major part of my life, and has been for a good 14 years, since I was only around four years old. I know, though, it Is not my little sisters fault, and know I have to look after her and protect her from the stresses that are blighting my life. I do that gladly, because she doesn’t deserve to suffer in that way, so I have become her mini-mum.

I have been struggling as I am now for many years, and have successfully hidden it until very recently, I hve only just started to be able to talk about it, it is still painful to talk about it, and I am always reluctant, you don’t know how people will react, which is another reason I do all I can to make sure nobody realises what I am going through. It is only now I have started to be able to talk about it, to any extent, that I am learning that I am not alone, and am now wondering how many more young women are working around the clock to hide the fact that they are in turmoil, struggling, and unable to control my feelings, the only release I have is to shut myself in my room and listen to music, or read, for the few minutes of peace I can get.

So, although no-one would know to look at me, or to talk to me, I am silently screaming out for help and relief, I am in total turmoil and despair all the time, and why is this, have I done something evil? No, the simple truth is that I am having to act as mother to a young sister, with an absentee father and a mother suffering with serious depression, and have been doing so for as long as I can remember.

Even now, for any of you who don’t know about depression you will be wondering why it is having so much of a destructive impact on me… after all, we’ve all been depressed when our hair won’t go right for a special night out, or when we break a finger nail just before a party… If you have suffered depression, or had a loved one suffer depression, you would know that this has nothing to do with depression… my mum has a fairly typical depression, which means that some days she doesn’t have the will power to get out of bed, when she does, she may go to the shops and brings back the wrong shopping, she is unable to do the housework… unable to prepare meals, often unable to eat them when prepared for her. She can be bitter, hurtful and aggressive… and yes I have to deal with all of this.

I have always sought to hide my problems, a mixture of things, not least of which is the stigma associated with mental illness, but I would honestly recommend anyone in this situation, whether they follow my coping strategy of hiding it, or whether they fall apart like some of my friends, to speak up, let someone know you are suffering. There is nothing to be ashamed about in asking for help, or indeed suffering mental illness, after all more than a quarter of the population will suffer a mental illness at some point.

Please speak out, learn from me, don’t let it ruin your life.

Labelled is Making Progress

Only a few short months ago, a group of young people, all carers for people with mental illness, and with mental health issues of their own, got to together and talked about forming a group to help young carers. They were painfully aware that the only support available to them was themselves, so they founded a wonderful group called Labelled – For Young Carers.

The aims of the group are simple, it is clear that in the community, and with service providers, young carers do not get the support they need to keep their own lives on track whilst caring.

Since those early days, the profile, and effectiveness of the group has grown immensely. They are proactive, they have worked tirelessly spreading their message and supporting young carers.

They considered the job description that would cover a young carers role, and made a promotional film selling the role as a job, this film was made entirely by the young carers at one of their weekly drop-ins, and is available on U-tube  and is already being used by others to highlight the plight of the young carer.

Using their contacts and experiences, they arranged for an interview recently broadcast on Radio Leicester, where a group of them spoke openly and freely about their experience and the impact of the caring role on their lives. This interview had quite an impact on the listeners, and especially on the Radio Leicester presenter who took the full interview to a BBC TV Documentary producer, who was so impressed and moved by the subject that he immediately made contact to make a 30 minute documentary about the group and their work.

There was an initial meeting in mid-June and plans are well advanced now to make the film around October for showing on BBC in the lead up to Christmas, which is a particularly testing time for carers.

The numbers attending the drop-ins is growing, and they are now reaching more and more young carers by word of mouth, social media and referrals from service providers.

The aims are clear, they want to engage with all not only all of the young carers in the County, but also the LPT and all other groups and individuals involved in mental health care. They believe, rightly, that until the stigma is lifted and all of the agencies involved work in a joined up co-ordinated way things will not improve, but their ceaseless efforts are instrumental in making this not only possible, but starting to happen.

The group is a role model, and is already working with others to set up Labelled groups in other towns and cities.

It is for me, a privilege to be involved with this group. They have seen a need, a serious need, to provide peer support care for young carers, and have moved heaven and earth to make it happen.

The Labelled story is still in it’s infancy, but is already growing and developing, so for anyone out there who is 25 or younger, and has people in their family, or friends, who have mental illness, come along to the drop-in on a Saturday, from Midday to 2:00 pm, engage with the carers, and allow them to empower you to gain the tools you need to cope with your role.

You will also have a chance for one to one conversation with someone with similar problems, who may well be able to offer you the help and support you have been crying out for.

Support Needed... Please

Mental Illness is so difficult for everyone who suffers, or who cares for someone with mental illness. The illness is unpredictable, behaviour can be erratic, in many cases you lose your loved one even though they are still living with you, functioning on some level but not by a country mile the person they were.

It would be naïve to think that the carers aren’t equally harmed, changed, little wonder there is often so much stress, tension and anger in carers.

I know the problems, you know the problems, it is simply not rocket science, it is obvious to everyone who will put aside their own ignorance and prejudice against mental illness…. Everyone who does not accept the stigma that is still so damaging to people with mental illness and their carers. People with mental illness and their carers need understanding and support.

It is so sad that the NHS service providers do not usually understand this simple fact.

We have to educate them, and that is a key target of our activity.

First of all, I have often heard the statement that for a nurse, on a psychiatric ward or A&E it is not easy, there is a lot of stress, and you are often faced by difficult people. You also may find a challenge going from treating someone who has been an innocent victim of a road traffic accident to treat someone who has deliberately cut themselves, either to mask the mental pain or to experience some sort of feeling, any sort of feeling. I accept that can be difficult and that the job is not easy. Is it any excuse for being rude? For being scornful or patronising to a patient? For not understanding their plight?

Compare it to a customer services officer in Marks and Spencer. They spend the whole day dealing with tetchy, rude and unreasonable customers, and the problems being brought to them are seldom of their making? Would you, as a nurse, accept that they snap at you or belittle you? Of course you wouldn’t, you’d get angry, the person woulod be disciplined, maybe dismissed. But within the NHS the defence that it has been a hard day is still used. It is simply not acceptable, it is seriously below the standards required, and adds additional stress and pressure to the most vulnerable people.

Ah yes, but it’s all theoretical. Can you give any examples of how the NHS staff mistreat mental health patients and carers? Without that it doesn’t mean anything.

Oh yes… the following examples are all true, all within our local Mantal Health Service, whether adult or Children/Adolescent… and they display the total lack of understanding, acceptance and care for the mentally ill and their carers.

The most vulnerable carers, and indeed the most ill treated within the service are our young carers. Imagine being born into a family where your earliest memories are of a parent who is suffering from acute depression, or bi-polar, and for you, life as a carer comes as naturally as breathing, because it’s all you know. By the time you are 15 you are probably burned out, you have sacrificed your education, you have devoted your life to looking after a parent, and the odds are it is now a single parent family, if it wasn’t to start with, what have you to look forward to? The only job you can think of is as a care worker, because you are skilled in that already, and don’t have the education to do much else. You cant however do that because the work is too close to your reality, it puts too much pressure on, and you simply don’t have the piece of paper showing you are qualified, even though your experience is worth more than any number of NVQ’s. Even if you do get a job, you will find that the levels of care you are expected to deliver are way below what you want to give, because you have seen it from the other side, you do understand the issues, and know how much harm little or no care can cause.

Imagine then that you have a crisis with your parent, you need help, desperately need support… you contact the appropriate service providers, who respond professionally and effectively to bring you the help you and your parent so desperately need. That’s what they’d have you believe… of course it doesnt happen like that.

The person who should be helping you identifies you are a child… you are not taken seriously, how can you trust a child with stuff this important? Don’t forget that you have already been happy to leave that young person in total control for the situation, fully responsible, for years probably, now he needs help, he is just a kid, you don’t take him seriously.

How does that make the carer feel? I’m sure know know… bloody angry and bloody frustrated… to say nothing of being scared because of the lack of support when needed. How does it affect the patient? I’m sure you know that as well.. a patient desperately needs help, you are effectively not prepared to provide it… can’t be good can it?

The other example I want to highlight relates to self-harm. Imagine through no fault of your own, being so mentally unwell that you have no emotions left, no feeling, no motivation… nothing positive to focus on except the hours of blank despair staring you in the eye… the last resort is to cut yourself, to draw blood, to feel pain, for you it is better than no feeling at all.

So you cut, you end up in A&E because the wound is deep, wide and potentially infected, you need support, comfort… is that what you always get in A&E? Of course not… the staff think that you are seeking attention, you have cut yourself to make their job busier, they think that compared to what they think are innocent victims of accidents you don’t deserve the same level of care. They are professional, they should know better than that, but for the most part they have no understanding.

The cut is a symptom not the problem. Unless the staff identify the cause for the cut, you are always likely to be back, again and again, with the same issue. Each time you go in you become more and more a regular, just cutting yourself for fun… they just don’t understand, and they show it. What is worse the staff will often openly show contempt for you.

It is important to treat the person, not the cut… it may be that A&E is not the place to make the further investigations, in which case, for gods sake, refer on to someone who has the knowledge and understanding, don’t just put the stitches in and pack them of with a patronising “now don’t do it again”

Maybe I expect too much from the NHS, I know Mental Illness is difficult, and a specialist area, but surely everyone working in a role which will bring you into contact with any level of understanding must have the understanding that there is more to it than what you see on the surface, must understand that mental illness is an illness or condition the same as cardiac arrest, cancer or a sprained ankle, and needs to be treated at all times with the same thoroughness, tact and integrity.

Why is it not treated the same? Simple… ignorance. If the staff are ignorant of the implications, we have to look to the management of the NHS, the ethos and attitude within the service. Only when the policy makers understand and acknowledge the truth will they be able to educate the staff, and make them accountable for their behaviour mental health patients.

Self Harm Pt 2 of 2

This is a sensitive subject, one that many will shy away from talking about, many will even find ways to believe it doesn’t exist, it is dangerous, sensitive, misunderstood and the cause of so many judgemental criticisms. But…. I do it, you do it, we all do it… not one of us doesn’t do it. What am I talking about? Simple terms, Self Harm.

We have already explored the reality of self-harm and how it is the end result of a psychological problem, and needs to be treated as such. I want here to look in more depth at the different types of self-harm and why we all, every one of us, does it.

First of all, how do we define self-harm? Simple, knowingly doing something that is harmful, or potentially harmful, to our body. Most people will, if they admit it to themselves, be aware of cutting the arms, but there are so many ways in which we damage our bodies.

At one extreme, of course, we harm ourselves so much that we die… we commit suicide. Less drastic than that, we use a sharp implement, such as a knife or broken glass, to cut our flesh.

There is however many other forms of self-harm, activities that we al carry out, that we know will harm our bodies but we do it anyway, regardless of the damage we inflict.

So, what do we do to harm ourselves? How long have you got? The list is endless.

How often do you eat too much, drink too much (not referring to alcohol here) eat just before bed, skip breakfast… you know these are bad for you, that they will harm you, and if regularly done could do serious harm.

There are so many examples, we can only touch on some of them, one of the simple things many of us do is to bite our nails, or pick the skin around the nails… why do we do this? Speaking personally it is at moments of stress, rather like when someone with an existing severe problem will go a step further and cut him or herself.

More expensive, think about cosmetic surgery…. The facelift, the breast implants, the new nose, why do we do that? Surely it is insecurity, I have no value looking like this. Rather similar to a person suffering from depression, who has exactly the same feelings, but without harming their bodies to try to improve things for them.

How do we react to these people who undergo cosmetic surgery to ease the pain of their stresses about themselves, we either don’t care, or are fairly ambivalent about it… at the worst we say they are fools and should know better, even people like Cher and Liza Minelli, who are probably now more plastic then human, are still revered and admired. However the young lad, who has real worries, has cared for a mentally ill parent who has to take a lump out of his arm to ease the mental pain is abused by society, neglected in hospital and made to feel guilty. Which do you think is the more deserving case?

Many people have tattoos, some people have tattoos purely as a fashion feature, they like the look of them, many also have them to hide what they think are unacceptable bodies, or for the same reasons of insecurity as others have facelifts or breast implants, some also have them done because they feel the pain of undergoing a major tattoo will blank out the emotional pain for a while.

Self-harm by neglect is a common problem. Can you honestly say you brush your teeth as often as you should? Knowing that it can lead to bad teeth and gum disease.

How often do you drive to the local shop instead of walking, yet you know that the walk is necessary to stimulate the heart and keep you fit?

Self harm by apathy? What is that about? Simple… you are feeling low, don’t care if you live or die, so you do reckless things, cross roads without looking, oblivious to whether there is a car coming.

What about the Armed Forces… they put their lives on the line on a daily basis when on a tour of duty, they are trained to the ultimate level to put their lives at risk for the sake of others… they value their orders and carry them out to the full, regardless of risk to themselves. Surely this is also a form of self-harm but surely no one can condemn the individuals for that… their courage is beyond question

Finally, extreme sports… people put themselves through unbelievable stresses in the name of sport, whether bungee jumping, white-water rafting, freefall parachute jumps. All of these things they know will harm them seriously if the slightest thing went wrong. In doing this they get an adrenalin rush, which is far beyond what the body is made for, which of course is damaging.

I would ask you to think about this… how many things do you do that harm your body, to any extent, either in reality or potentially. You see now, I hope, why I say we all self-harm to some extent throughout our lives.

Clearly looking at the few examples I’ve used, some of them are acceptable to society, such as the armed forces; some are not acceptable to society… such as deliberately cutting you with a knife, whatever the reason.

I would like you to think about this… where do we draw the line between what is acceptable and what isn’t acceptable? Given that there are two extremes one of which is acceptable one of which isn’t, there must be a point somewhere between where it changes over.

The last thing is this…given that like me, you self harm in one way or another, can you really judge others who self harm much more dangerously? You self harm, they self harm… where is the difference?

There is a difference, those who self-harm in a way that society considers more seriously, frequently will have underlying mental issues, and self-harm purely to try to escape the mental pain that is totally uncontrollable… why do you self harm… greed? Vanity? Stupidity? Whatever the reason, you don’t have the right to condemn or criticise those who do self-harm seriously… I won’t push you to sympathise, though if you had an ounce of real understanding and compassion you would, but at least give them a break… if you cant help them, for god sake don’t despise and condemn… because in reality, you are every bit as guilty