This is a sensitive subject, one that many will shy away
from talking about, many will even find ways to believe it doesn’t exist, it is
dangerous, sensitive, misunderstood and the cause of so many judgemental
criticisms. But…. I do it, you do it, we all do it… not one of us doesn’t do
it. What am I talking about? Simple terms, Self Harm.
We have already explored the reality of self-harm and how it
is the end result of a psychological problem, and needs to be treated as such.
I want here to look in more depth at the different types of self-harm and why
we all, every one of us, does it.
First of all, how do we define self-harm? Simple, knowingly
doing something that is harmful, or potentially harmful, to our body. Most
people will, if they admit it to themselves, be aware of cutting the arms, but
there are so many ways in which we damage our bodies.
At one extreme, of course, we harm ourselves so much that we
die… we commit suicide. Less drastic than that, we use a sharp implement, such
as a knife or broken glass, to cut our flesh.
There is however many other forms of self-harm, activities
that we al carry out, that we know will harm our bodies but we do it anyway,
regardless of the damage we inflict.
So, what do we do to harm ourselves? How long have you got?
The list is endless.
How often do you eat too much, drink too much (not referring
to alcohol here) eat just before bed, skip breakfast… you know these are bad
for you, that they will harm you, and if regularly done could do serious harm.
There are so many examples, we can only touch on some of
them, one of the simple things many of us do is to bite our nails, or pick the
skin around the nails… why do we do this? Speaking personally it is at moments
of stress, rather like when someone with an existing severe problem will go a
step further and cut him or herself.
More expensive, think about cosmetic surgery…. The facelift,
the breast implants, the new nose, why do we do that? Surely it is insecurity,
I have no value looking like this. Rather similar to a person suffering from
depression, who has exactly the same feelings, but without harming their bodies
to try to improve things for them.
How do we react to these people who undergo cosmetic surgery
to ease the pain of their stresses about themselves, we either don’t care, or
are fairly ambivalent about it… at the worst we say they are fools and should
know better, even people like Cher and Liza Minelli, who are probably now more
plastic then human, are still revered and admired. However the young lad, who
has real worries, has cared for a mentally ill parent who has to take a lump
out of his arm to ease the mental pain is abused by society, neglected in
hospital and made to feel guilty. Which do you think is the more deserving
case?
Many people have tattoos, some people have tattoos purely as
a fashion feature, they like the look of them, many also have them to hide what
they think are unacceptable bodies, or for the same reasons of insecurity as
others have facelifts or breast implants, some also have them done because they
feel the pain of undergoing a major tattoo will blank out the emotional pain
for a while.
Self-harm by neglect is a common problem. Can you honestly
say you brush your teeth as often as you should? Knowing that it can lead to
bad teeth and gum disease.
How often do you drive to the local shop instead of walking,
yet you know that the walk is necessary to stimulate the heart and keep you
fit?
Self harm by apathy? What is that about? Simple… you are
feeling low, don’t care if you live or die, so you do reckless things, cross
roads without looking, oblivious to whether there is a car coming.
What about the Armed Forces… they put their lives on the
line on a daily basis when on a tour of duty, they are trained to the ultimate
level to put their lives at risk for the sake of others… they value their
orders and carry them out to the full, regardless of risk to themselves. Surely
this is also a form of self-harm but surely no one can condemn the individuals
for that… their courage is beyond question
Finally, extreme sports… people put themselves through
unbelievable stresses in the name of sport, whether bungee jumping, white-water
rafting, freefall parachute jumps. All of these things they know will harm them
seriously if the slightest thing went wrong. In doing this they get an
adrenalin rush, which is far beyond what the body is made for, which of course
is damaging.
I would ask you to think about this… how many things do you
do that harm your body, to any extent, either in reality or potentially. You
see now, I hope, why I say we all self-harm to some extent throughout our
lives.
Clearly looking at the few examples I’ve used, some of them
are acceptable to society, such as the armed forces; some are not acceptable to
society… such as deliberately cutting you with a knife, whatever the reason.
I would like you to think about this… where do we draw the
line between what is acceptable and what isn’t acceptable? Given that there are
two extremes one of which is acceptable one of which isn’t, there must be a
point somewhere between where it changes over.
The last thing is this…given that like me, you self harm in
one way or another, can you really judge others who self harm much more
dangerously? You self harm, they self harm… where is the difference?
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