Labelled - Support for Young Carers

I used to be judgemental… I could see someone at a distance and know they that are thick, or any other insulting term. I have seen much over the last few years that has taught me that you cannot judge another person without knowing their history, and even experiencing something of it.

We’ve all seen him, y’know, the lad at school, he’s often a bit late, often looks unkempt. The teacher asks for his homework, and it isn’t done. He may not have his lunch or his lunch money… You can bet he doesn’t hang out with the rest of the class at lunch time, he is on his own, looking lost, looking worried. He won’t be at the society or club after school with the cool guys because he runs straight home after lessons.

Yes, we’ve all met this lad, we may have been this lad, but it’s obvious he’s a stuck up little thicky.. that’s why we don’t talk to him.. he doesn’t want to mix with us, so he’s not normal. We don’t like people to be different so we abuse him… call him names… play nasty tricks on him… hit him…

Yes, he’s a thick geek, he deserves all we give him.

We’ve all been there… what we don’t know is that the lad lives with his single mum, and his two little sisters… we don’t know his mum suffers with acute depression… and even if we did, we wouldn’t know what it meant.

For this lad it means at 12 years old he is bringing up his little sisters unaided, he is looking after his mother who is incapable of getting out of bed most days… can’t wash herself… feed herself… look after herself… it is not her fault, she is ill. Depression is a nasty destructive illness that destroys sufferers, destroys their families, destroys everyone who is close to it.

Somewhere amongst all this the lad has to look after himself, feed himself, do his school work… he also has his mum’s medication to sort out and administer… he has the house to clean.

He is worried that if he doesn’t do it, Social Services will break up the family… he doesn’t want that, it is his life, all he knows.

He doesn’t realise that he is a carer, to him he has grown up knowing no different, to him it is normal… he suffers the bullying at school because he knows he is doing the only thing he knows… supporting his family.

He is a carer, there are hundreds of thousands of them in the country, many don’t realise that is what they are because it is natural for them to continue looking after their loved ones, whatever.

Our lad needs support, because before he has reached puberty he is all but burned out, has sacrificed his education, sacrificed his social life, and has no real life to look forward to… he desperately needs help, but is there any? You tell me.

At school the staff is unaware of what is going on, mum doesn’t come to parent evenings because she doesn’t care… they assume, because they are judgemental. His classmates don’t know about his family because he is a thick antisocial git, they are being judgemental. The neighbours have no idea, that family next door is standoffish and strange… they are being judgemental.

There simply is no support available for these tragic lost children… they are not even aware that they are suffering, struggling… to them it is natural, the normal way of things.

However, in Leicester, there now is support, a group of young carers and service users have found out the hard way that there is no support for them, so instead of sitting back and complaining, they have set up a magnificent organization called LABELLED… they are there to support young carers and young patients. They know how these people feel, what they are suffering, because they have been there, they are still in the position… but these people have set up the organisation to help everyone in the same position.

The organisation is in it’s infancy, but is already having an impact, is engaging with other Mental Health Service User and Carer support agencies to offer young carers a thorough and effective support package, , somewhere where they can talk to others in the same position, where they can find advice, support and crucially empathise, understanding and compassion.

If you don’t live in Leicester, is there a similar group in your area, if so, why not introduce them to LABELLED, would you consider setting up a group along the same lines. They will be happy to talk to you help you.

This project is a fantastic initiative by young carers for young carers, if you are a young carer, or know a young carer, or indeed someone who may be a young carer, put them in touch with LABELLED.

Next time you see a young person, or group of young people, don’t assume that they are trouble makers… obviously there are trouble makers amongst the younger generation… as there are in all generations… but there are a hell of a lot more good, honest , caring individuals…  Don’t judge that young lad who lives in that isolated way. find out why? Understand him… you may well find a hard-working, desperately unhappy, stressed out young soul who is at his wits end trying to cope with a lousy situation which is none of his fault.

The young people who have set up this fantastic project are a credit… they stand up head and shoulders above most of us, and when people talk of public recognition, these are the sort of people who should be being recognised, being lauded and given awards.

I for one am proud to know them and be able to call them friends.